best week in a long time

So this last week I went home for thanksgiving and it was the best week I have had in a long time. Of  course seeing my family was awesome but I got to hang out with my ex. I was really unsure how it was going to go but it was surprisingly amazing. I'm starting to think he might feel the same way as I feel about him. When he kissed he said god i missed this which I think might be a sign of something good then we just held each other it felt nice to be with him again. Later we went to his brothers house and he held my hand the whole time this has to be more than just a friends thing right? I only wish I knew what he was thinking boys are so confusing! But he told me we would see each other during Christmas break which is in two weeks so I guess we will see what happens :) but for now I'm just going on wishful thinking oh and for that other guy that's super creepy I think hes getting a hint but if not he will soon ;)

what is love?

Have you have had someone that you just can't seem to forget no matter what? Well I'm joing your club I finally know what it feels like. It's like once you taste perfection (in your eyes) theres just no one that can even come close to that. Everyone else will only be second best and you will never give yourself to another person like you did with the one that you will never forget. You spend your day's thinking about that person (which is annoying at times) and feel so empty that you don't think you will ever be whole again. It's that one person that you will always be able to forgive no matter what they do. Is this love? I don't really now what I'm feeling all I know is that one person is the only one that can make everything ok. The only problem is that person hasn't talked to me for 2 months. I have never felt this way before and I don't even know what to do I'm so lost. Oh and by the way if your wondering if I'm going to tell you who it is I'm not I like to keep people guessing so you can guess all you want but its probably not the person your thinking it is. Well this was a little more deep than most of my posts but I had to get it out. Everything will get better in time right?

WTF bro?!

Its amazing how bad someone can make you feel by just sending you a text. This new guy I met lets call him Jim is one of those guys that has to make you feel bad to make himself feel good. He seems like a controlling person that wants you to be the way he wants you to be and wants you to change for him. Well I'm not a girl that's going to take shit like that and I'm sure as hell not going to change myself I'm perfect the way I am. Hes also the obsessed kind that talks about kids and getting married well news flash dude I don't even know if that's something I want sure as hell not anytime soon for that fact! To tell you the truth I don't even know what I want for dinner let alone anything else. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life and find myself I cant plan for anything at the moment. Oh and last night he told me he loved me WTF??!!! I just met this guy maybe two weeks ago and then he asked me if I loved him HELL NO I don't love you I don't even know you that well. Well I just have 5 more weeks left in this term and I think its time that I seriously think about a location change.

oh Carlos...

So it's FB official that Carlos is back with that one girl that he was with when he was texting me a few months ago. Tisk tisk I guess that boy will never learn I mean she has proven herself untrustworthy once ( around prom) but now that hes in Montana and shes in California it makes it better right? Well whatever floats his boat I guess but here's my prediction it wont last long. That's just me being logical due to the distance and the experience of dating the same person twice it never really works out. If you look at her (no offence of course) but she doesn't look like the faithful kind if you know what I mean. She had to beg for Carlos back after she hooked up with another guy when they had a thing ( herd this convo in government that's what happens when you don't keep your mouth shut about stuff like that) so therefor I don't see a happy ending for them but I could be wrong I mean I want the best for him of course and I don't think its her. Now don't think that I'm all negative about this cause I want him cause I'm over that yes there was an attraction between us but I cant date a guy that cant keep his mouth shut when he has a few. I mean I would be better than her not only cause of my looks but cause I'm not a hoe ( just sayin)  and can keep a relationship (if the guys not an idiot) but I guess we will see what happens there and if he gets lonely and texts me again cause he found out the truth about his "gf" but for now I have other things to think about like that new guy ;)

The hardest good bye

Today I text my ex to see when he was leaving so we could hangout one last time and say good bye. He told me he was leaving in 30 minutes. I thought he would of told me sooner but I guess not. I didn't think it would feel like this when he left but it.. hurt. I really do miss him but he told me he would see me over thanksgiving break and told me we can skype but thanksgiving is two months away and it feels like its longer and I feel like skype isn't enough. But it will have to do. Maybe the fact that the good bye was over a text made it harder for me maybe in person he though it would be harder for him. Either way its not easy after three years of knowing each other and being so close. I just hope nothing changes and he keeps his promise to keep in touch. Well all I know for now is that I miss him. Well life is full of good byes and all we can do is keep breathing. So that's what ill do and see what happens...

Super confused

So if you remember Carlos moved for college. Well he still texts me all the time and whenever I get on facebook he has to IM me right when I get on. Weird right? well idk what his deal is I thought when he moved away he wouldn't talk to me anymore but I guess I was wrong. He still flirts with me but here's a juicy detail that I recently found out. He had/ has (not totally sure) a girlfriend when he was texting me one of my girls told me that a few weeks ago. Which I have no idea why he would be texting me when he was dating another girl but I'm kinda thinking there might be more to our what I thought was innocent flirting. Most guys wouldn't keep it up for this long would they? Its been 3 years and whenever he breaks up with a girl he comes back to me. I just don't get it! I wish guys just told us girls what was on their mind sometimes I mean the stuff besides sex. Its not like I would mind if Carlos had feelings for me even though hes so far away he will be back for breaks and summer but who knows what that boy is thinking. I guess ill just go with it and see what happens until then I shall stay super confused.

Done

Ok so if you read my last post you can understand that I'm fed up with guys. I feel like they think they can do what they want to me but here's a news flash they CAN'T! I'm glad I'm moving to a new city soon so I can make a fresh start. I think I'm ready for a relationship finally. Its been over a year and well its time to find a good guy that will care about me cause I sure as hell know that Paul and Stephan never did. My ex on the other hand I have no clue what his caring level is but its not enough. And for Carlos he still texts me a lot so I have no idea what his deal is but hes in Montana so ill never know or pursue anything so far away. I haven't felt this way in a long time but I want to be a relationship with someone who will be there for me not just for the moment or just for a hook up. But you know what sucks is that I actually kinda liked those guys and all they liked was my body. So I'm done,done with hanging out with jerks, done with letting them make me feel like they care, I'm just done. Here's to a new life, new city,new guys. Oh and I met one that lives right around the corner from where ill be living and he seems like a good guy plus hes cute ill keep you updated :)

Pissed... I THINK SO!

Well to start off lets just say that Mr. Stephan is in very HOT water! So a few days ago he text me and asked if I wanted to hang out the next day. I said yes and he told me to be at his house at a certain time. Being fashionably late like I aways am I show up at his house and he isn't even there WTF DUDE!!!? So I leave after shooting him a text that I was there and I get around the corner and guess who is pulling up yep the idiot. I go back to his house and he tells me that he has to be somewhere soon and that the text he sent me was for someone else. Does something smell fishy? He really cant be that stupid to not send me a text later that night or the next day telling me he sent it to the wrong person. Hmmm I smell a lier. He told me to text him the next day so we could hang out after he said sorry ( didn't buy it) so I said ok and left. The next day I text him at the time he told me to and guess what he never text me back and my friend even called him and still nothing. All I have to say is that he better be in the hospital or have another damn good reason for blowing me off or he will end up in the hospital. 3;)

Adios Carlos

Well tonight was the last night for Carlos in this town and I guess he needed one last text session with yours truly. But I can blame him I am pretty awesome and hes going to miss me i know it. Hopefully he will keep in contact but you never know when people move away but at least he text me before he left. We go way back to sophmore year and even though he was... well lets intersting and shall I use the same word for the times we had this past year Im still going to miss him. I wont have to same awkward moments without him around which is nice but sad at the same time. Well this was bitter sweet I hope he hits me up when he comes back for breaks but if not heres to a good 3 years of knowing him and the cleveage baskitball he liked to play when we first met. So adios Carlos I hope you have an awsome time in college even though I know he will never see this its a nice thing to say right? haha well peace, love,  happiness, and all that crap :)

Conspiracy theory

So if you remember all they way back to Stephan and Carlos well just a few days ago both of them text me out of the blue. Weird huh? well that's what I was thinking but I came to the conclusion that somethings about to happen. I mean think about it first my ex wanting to hang out all the time and now my ex flings there has to be something in the universe happening ( if you believe in that kinda stuff) either that or a conspiracy against me. Either way I feel like I should be prepared. So whats my first move you ask well text them back second see what happens. Stephan already asked me to hang out but hasn't come through so should I text him and ask? IDK but Carlos just wanted to talk to me I think. ( ill let you know if anything more happens there) and for my ex well I think we have spent too much time together lately which means he could get the wrong idea ( ill explain in my next post) But I guess all I can do is see what happens although there is very little time before we all leave for college. Carlos leaves tomorrow so I feel like that one is ruled out but hey I'm sure he will be back for winter break and holidays as will I so I guess we will see what that brings cause hey who wouldn't miss me :) For now though I shall deal with Stephan who doesn't leave for a long while and my ex but I don't really want to deal with that one so if you have any ideas let me know ;)

Friends?

So I hung out with my ex again and we floated the river and a movie with some friends. It was a lot of fun and I'm thinking we can be friends again which is nice but I'm always unsure of what he thinks. I was in a swim suit of course when we floated and he was totally checking me out (not gonna lie I don't blame him he did miss out on that) and he was totally flirting with me. Sometimes becoming friends with your ex can be complicated because you will always have feelings for the one you once loved but its better to be friends than not talk at all. We were best friends before we dated so its only natural that we go back to that but its still confusing but it just takes time. I'm just glad we made up before we left for college cause I didn't want to leave things between us on bad terms. If only the bitch knew we were friends again she would be enraged and it would be the funnest thing ever! Who knew I could be this deep! Well I guess we will see what happens and if your thinking we will get back together again you are one funny person cause I'm not going through that EVER again! But a gbf could be a possibility (gay best friend) ;)

My dream guy

Today I believe I met my dream guy but let me start off with the story about how I met him. I was working and it was a pretty average day so my co worker gave me his snowboarding magazine and a sharpie and told me to say "hey Austin can I get your autograph". At first I didn't want to do it but I thought what the hell and it turned out to be a good thing I did. He got up and signed it and started to talk to me and asking me where I lived and went to school all that stuff. Here's the awesome part he actually was interested in what I had to say! After we got done talking he asked my name and wrote it down and put for in front of it. I couldn't get the smile off my face! He was super cute and charming and PERFECT! When he left he said ill see ya tomorrow and later I found off he was a pro snowboarder I believe this was the beginning of a beautiful thing even though he had his girlfriend with him he was still flirting with me ;) Oh and he said he hopes to see me when I move to the town he lives in yep he wants a piece of this!

A trip down memory lane

Today I was going through my old phone and deleting everything so I can give it to a friend and I went through some old texts. They were from a year a go when I was dating my now current ex and it was a cute convo and we called each other babe and all the cute junk. It just took me back to when I used to be in love and had different friends. It made me see how my of a dumb ass my ex is now compared to a year ago well people do change. Back then he had a job a HOT girlfriend ( me) and his life was pretty good and then he threw away everything. Now he smokes (substances that are possibly illegal) he has no job and no hot girlfriend. Well I guess I'm better off now that I see what his life has come to. I have a job and had an interesting time with a couple guys this year (Carlos and Stephan) oh good times. Well it was nice to flashback to the time I was in a relationship with a guy that wanted to go watch Dear John and may have shed a tear or two. Those were they days now I'm off to bigger and better things and hotter, manlier men.

Hes back form the dead can't he go back?

So I hung out with my ex the other day... and lets just say it was interesting. Let me start form the begging last week I got a text from him ( weird we haven't talked in forever) and he asked if I wanted to hang out. I'm thinking what the hell do you want to hang out with me for ( reasonable thought) so I confided in my best girl  for advise on how to handle this awkward situation. I told him we could hang out when I got off work to see what he wanted cause he had to be working some angle. Being the awesome bitch I am I went home after work to change and waited for him to text me about hanging out (making him think I forgot) which I was kinda hoping he wouldn't but hes a persistent one and really wanted to hang out. For some reason he wanted to meet downtown so of course I'm on time and hes late (typical boy). Here's where it got weird he took me to his house after we met up. I know where he lives we dated for awhile and I was there on numerous occasions but whatever. So we get back to his house and watch a movie and then I see why he wanted to hang out so badly. He has his arm around me and getting super close to me WTF!!!!! He was the one who broke up with me in the first place did he forget? I take it that hes lonely and realized what he has been missing but he will have to keep missing it cause I'm not going through that again but we can be friends.... yeahhhh friendsss.

Foreign dude in the cowboy hat

So I was on a family vaca and got hit on by some foreign dude that I could tell was trying really hard to impress me well I'm not easily impressed so it didn't work at all but let me start from the beginning. I was walking in downtown Jackson Hole with my dad when I spotted a place that did hair wraps and I thought it would be cool for summer. I go in the place and sit in the chair while this guy gets the stuff ready. My dad goes to look around the guy starts to talk to me. At first its a normal conversation "hi where you from" that kinda stuff. So I find out that hes from Italy and "fought in the army" seems a little odd that he would go from a gun to hairs wraps but whatever. Anyway as hes putting in the hair wrap he asks my name and tells me how beautiful it is when I tell him but it didn't stop there he also tells me how beautiful my hair is too. Of course when my dad comes back he stops taking to me all together and when he leaves he asks my age and when I tell him he says "oh so your legal" sorry buddy but I'm not that kinda legal! After that it just got weird thank god my dad came back. Oh and the hair wrap fell out a few days later maybe he should of paid more attention to what he was doing and not my hair and my legalness. I guess that's what you for letting a foreign solder do your hair.

The camp out

Last night was my senior camp out and guess whose there my ex. We are friends an all so I didn't mind but as the night went on it got weird. Now take in mind we have been broken up over a year so you would think he would be over it but last night suggested something else. He was totally flirting with me and at one point He was really close to my face and looked like he wanted to kiss me so I pulled back cause it was SUPER awkward. Him and his friend (don't like much) left for awhile and I didn't think they would be back. Oh but you gotta love surprises cause they came back about 2am to the dieing party. Well let me tell you the situation I was in. I was supposed to be in the tent with my "best friend" but she decided to ditch me for the RV operation cock block boy brought so I was left alone some friend huh. Anyway my Mexican Amiga invited me in her friends car where it was super cramped but it was better than being alone. So here rolls up my ex and his friend knocking on the back door. They have me take them to the RV and well they wanted to spend the night in the tent where I was supposed to be. So I ended up staying in a two person tent with both of them and you thought my life was awkward before. Oh and to make it oh so much better the sleeping bags were all zipped together so we all got to share one big sleeping bag and guess who got the middle yep of course ME. Sleeping on the ground isn't very comfortable so naturally I woke up in the middle of the night but when I woke up my exs arm was around me and he was totally spooning me like WTF hello don't you remember you broke up with ME! But it gets weirder he actually started to kiss me and was all over me. Apparently he doesn't remember what went down between us last year. Well all that camp out did was leave me super confused and an ex that wants to hang out with me all the time now. Thank you senior camp out!

Restraining order much needed

Today hasn't been a good day for me at all so I put ughhh for status on Facebook and guess who decides to comment on it yep my prom stalker. All  he put was a question mark but why the hell would he care we like never talk mostly my choice but still his caring is irrelevant due to the fact we really aren't remotely friends. But lets flash back to about a week ago when he did talk to me last. He text me to ask if I was with another like why the HELL would it matter we aren't dating and there is no intention of that happening at ALL. I would rather cut my own legs off then do that ( yep hes that bad) but anyway back to the story he was all freaking out because he saw me with said "boy" but here's the best part it wasn't even me. So he got all worked up for no reason at all. This boy has taken stalker to a whole new level can you say restraining order?

The end of the awkwardness....I think

The school year is ending and I feel like my awkward moments with Carlos and Stephan are heading that way too. There might be sometimes when we hang out before we all leave but there wont be any more of Carlos friends staring at me thank god! But even though those moments were super uncomfortable I'm going to miss them a little. Maybe if I go to some of the parties that will be happening this summer I might get a little taste of awkwardness again but other than that its over. I don't know what will happen with all of us we probably wont talk much if at all. Stephan is going to Sweden for two years and Carlos is going to Montana so we probably wont cross paths in the future. For me I will be in Portland for a year and after that who knows. I will miss hanging out with them they have defiantly made my senior year more interesting but in a good way... I think. Well they will leave me with some memories for sure. Well here's to summer and the rest of my life with most likely interesting boys ( I attract them). It was fun while it lasted boy's ADIOS!

Carlos

As I have said before boys gossip A LOT and they don't really pay attention to who might be listening (usually me) to their gossip. The scoop I got today in my class with Carlos was that hes been cheated on AGAIN isn't that just a sign that hes going after the wrong girls? Like they say fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me so I believe after two strikes with two different girls from the same school its time to be a little smarter. Well every time Carlos gets cheated on he comes crawling to me to make him feel better. I have been here all along but still he goes for those stupid whores for relationships but I'm always here to pick up the pieces. Cant he see whats right infrount of him?! Lets see he has known me for three years now and liked me for that long wouldn't you think he would grow a brain and pick who has been there all along? Even though he knows about me and Stephan if he wanted something more than what we have I would drop him like last seasons jeans. He really can be a sweet guy and I kinda want to be in a relationship again yeah the whole single life is fun for awhile but it gets lonely. But anyway back to my point why is he so stupid?! I think I'm a lot prettier than those other girls but I guess that's just me. Well there's nothing I can do about it but blog...

Hes back

Last night I got on facebook after I came home from an awesome party for one of my girls and guess who imes me... my prom date. Its been a week sense we have talked so I thought he didn't like me and was over it I guess not. But here's the creepy part he went looking for me at my work who does that? I thought I scared him off but theres no scaring this boy away. He also added me on skype how he found me I have no clue maybe god told him he is really religious. Well now I'm stuck with a stalker maybe if I sick Carlos and Stephen on him he will go away they gotta fight for their women right ;) If you have any ideas on how to get rid of this dude let me know :)

Lunch

The other day me and my Mexican Amiga went out for lunch and guess who we see. Yep Carlos! So me and my girl sit down and of course he has to sit at the table right next to me and the tables are super close in there so its like hes at the same table as us. He barley talked to the person he was with and I could tell he was listening to my convo (CREEP) then his friend was at the table on the other side of me so I was right in the middle of their convo super awkward! Well after my less then comfortable lunch of course we had to walk our right behind him oh JOY! Again he was listening to everything I was saying to my girl I should of started talking about my awesome sex life (well make it up) I'm sure that would of got him thinking ;)

Romance

Ok so I have a problem. I want a bad boy but I also want romance some cute lovey dovey stuff but not too much. Is it so hard for guys to at least try once in awhile to be sweet? Take Carlos and Stephen both bad boys and there's that hotness whenever I'm with them but the one thing they lack is romance. Yeah hot is good but sometimes I just want that cute sweet loving feeling and no I don't want them to love me I just want them to try and be sweet to me once in awhile. But I don't want them to be falling all over me cause that's just pathetic I still want the hot passion that's there but I  want to feel like a girl not like an object. Just sayin even though I know nothing will change just needed to put it out there before I explode. 

The bitch is back

So the bitch has been in Hawaii for the past week thank god! But now shes back shit... even though I knew she would come back a small part of me was hoping that she would get eaten by a shark or got swept   away by a huge tide but no shes fine. Well there goes wishful thinking. So yesterday she was back in my class and we had to do a project at Old Navy the task was to give a guy a makeover. See with her involved in this its gong to go terribly wrong poor guy. She cant even dress herself how the hell can she dress someone else? Well its simple she cant. She picked out the ugliest shirts and cant match shits with pants to save her life. Me and the "victim" were talking and you could tell he was thinking what have I got myself into well thank god I was there to save the day. (insert epic theme music) She actually tried to pair a dark navy shirt with a pair or dark wash jeans if you have the slightest good taste in clothes you know that's wrong. So I told her to get some khakis for the poor boy to go with the shirt here's what she said "oh that's what I meant" UH HUH sureee so FYI in her world jeans mean khakis? She should just stick to her day job on the corner. 

Player

Just because I'm hanging out with Carlos and Stephan does that make me a player? I think not! It's not like I'm committed to either one of them and it's all innocent flirting. I'm almost positive that they know about each other anyway so if they don't care why should I? I'm single and having fun and there is nothing wrong with that and I'm not playing either one of them. The other day I was told that I was on a date with my best guy friend because we went to Starbucks and had a heart to heart that is not a date if you ask me. But according to my friend I'm playing him too but I'm not we are just friends and both of us know that. People are dumb but they can think what they want I don't care it's none of their business anyway.

Stephan

I got a text today from Stephan weird huh? Well we haven't talked in like three months so I was like WTF but I'm pretty sure he realized what he lost. Anyway he wants to hang out tomorrow should I go there again? I mean its pretty funny cause him and Carlos are friends so I could be awesome and cause some drama there I mean after everything with them I feel like it would be just what they need in their little group. Messing with guys minds can be fun right ;) well my life's kinda boring right  now so I might just see what Mr. Stephan is up too I guess that's what Carlos gets for not talking to his woman call me a bitch or call me awesome take it as you will but I know you have wanted to do something like this at least once so I'm taking one for the team.

My prom...

Guess who was right ME! Prom was horrible and my date was an ass hole but lets start at the beginning of the night. I was a half hour late to pictures I actually had to get changed in my car we were so late. Pictures were super awkward with him but I had a good time with my girls. Then dinner so I'm thanking god that I had my two DECA girls with me cause I would of never made it though dinner without them. So we were having a nice dinner and I said bitch nbd right WRONG my date turned to me and yelled "watch your language in a nice place like this!" like WTF how rude can he be it was our first date. It took everything I had to not turn and yell fuck you! back we were in a hotel restaurant so it wasn't even a super nice place then he decided to get into it with my girl and you NEVER do that remember operation cock block yeah stay away from her bad side. But the one thing that really set me off was the fact he didn't pay for anything my dad had to pay for everything what a gentleman right? So we get to the dance and he is by far the worst dancer ever I just wanted to die it was so bad. I swear to god he doesn't have a sense of humor at all he hardly laughed and was just plain awkward he had like no emotion but angry and rude. Well apparently proms supposed to be the best night of your life this one wasn't it was actually one of the worst nights of my like the only thing that made it good was my girls who had my back (love ya) but I would of traded last years prom for this years any day.

Tonight...

Today is prom.... cant you sense the enthusiasm I have? Well I woke up this morning and it was raining I feel like that's a sign of events to come. Its going to be a busy day for sure and probably awkward cause of my date but thank god I'm having dinner with my fave Mexican girl and doing jello shots at the restaurant that will scare Jesus boy away right? If that doesn't I meting up with my girl from operation cock block so I know he will be over me by the end of the night thanks to the help of my girls :) and Carlos will be at prom hopefully he will steal me away cause I know what he wants and is me so I'm sure tonight will be an interesting series of events but ill guess we will see I know what my next post will be about :D till then wish me luck.

Not my type at ALL

So I met my prom date for the first time today. Hes nice and a good guy but before he came to see me at work he went to talk to my dad which I think is weird but he is religious so I guess that's what they do. But the worst part is that my dad approves which makes him so much less attractive cause I like bad boys that my dad wouldn't approve of that's just my type I guess. Hes cute and all but kinda boring and likes to tell me irrelevant things and I can tell hes a needy one which I cant deal with. But I only have to deal with him for one night right? Well I always have Carlos to balance out the bad boyness that I need ;)

My type

I have finally figured out what my type is douche bags. It seems like those are the guys I attract and am attracted to. I have tried other types of guys (my prom date) but I'm never really that into them. The douche bags are just so much more exciting cause they are bad boys ;) and it seems like the good guys are so boring. I like guys who can not be serious all the time and like to do exciting things. Although they don't always treat me good they are fun and exciting instead of dull and boring. I guess I just like excitement in my life that's all.

The prom date

Ok I met this sweet guy whose cute and super nice but hes not my type at all. Hes my prom date (yes I gave into the stupid high school event) but hes super religious and political which are two things I'm not at all. He has really different views on things than I do and hes not the type of guy I go for at all. I'm sure we will have fun at prom and be good friends but I don't see it turning into anything more. I haven't even met him in person and he asked me to go to Colombia with him a little weird I think. He will look good in prom pics though :)

Look whose back

So I got a text from Carlos tonight but I'm going to start this story from the beginning. So I have a class with Carlos and I sit pretty close to him so I can hear everything he says to his best friend and today I heard that the girl Carlos was hanging out with has been hooking up with other guys ( he seems to attract winners besides me of course). So he comes crawling back to I totally called it too I even told my best girl so what am I going to do now you ask well I'm going to talk to him and see where it takes me my goal is for him to realize that I'm the only girl who wont screw him over cause this is the second time that he has been screwed over and came back to me. But I have the upper hand on this one he wont get me back that easily :)

Prom

So I have made a final decision I'm not going to prom. Why you ask well to start off with no date cause boy's are AWESOME! Oh and all my friends have dates so I refuse to be a third wheel. What about the dress I got your asking well there is a reason they invented eBay. So there I'm going to have an anti prom at my house and watch movies and be anti social. Proms overrated anyway who wants to be let down by the high expectations of prom? I sure don't (again) well those are my thoughts on prom a.k.a the most overrated event In high school.

One unhappy bitch

For A-block me and my ex hang out cause we are still friends and the other day the bitch saw us and looked pissed (totally funny). So the next day she asked me what was up with me hanging out with him and I told her we were friends and I could totally tell she wasn't happy with that maybe it was the fact he deleted her off of Facebook but who knows :) Today she saw us again hanging out and she was totally pissed which made my day. I find it funny that he totally hates her and still is my friend. Another accomplishment in ruining her life completed! But I guess we will see what she has to say tomorrow in class :) (it wont be a smile on her face I know that)

A boys goal

Question.Is the goal of boys to make a girl feel unbeautiful? Here's why I think it's true I have been burned by a lot of guys lately and to tell you the truth it hurts pretty bad cause I'm left thinking am I not pretty enough? So Paul asked another girl to prom today wtf am I not pretty enough for him? Carlos hasn't talked to me lately did he find someone prettier than me? And finally Stephan is over me I'm pretty sure did he find someone better than me? These are all the questions I have its like boys talk to me when there's nobody better to talk to and then they find someone else and they are through with me and it makes me feel like shit. People tell me I'm pretty but its hard to believe when this kinda stuff keeps happening to me. Maybe I'm just unlucky but still it hurts I still don't have a prom date and probably wont get one cause theres always "someone better" I guess I just have to live with it a few more weeks but its going to be hard cause I'm lonely and want a "MAN" not a boy that's always after the next chase well they can keep chasing and chasing those "better" girls but they cant chase after this one anymore I'm done playing their stupid games so here's to me sticking it out and being done with high school boys.

People

I have decided that people really piss me off. There's a select few people that I actually like right now and that list is getting smaller and smaller. With the whole prom thing I'm just over boys all together call me bitter if you want but high school boys all suck. Then there's the people that act like they are your "friend" but really when you need cheering up or to vent all they care about is themselves but when they need you your supposed to listen and care about what they are talking about but guess what it doesn't work that way. One thing high schools taught me is that people only look out for their best interests and its a one way street unless they are your true friends and it looks like I don't have many of them any more. My so called "best friend" as she likes to call me doesn't give a shit that I'm upset over prom she would rather talk about how her and her date are going awesome huh? Well whatever I'm almost out of this hell hole thank god.

Prom

Here's my awesome situation for prom no date and a really expensive dress that I cant take back perfect right? NOT! So this weekend I went to Portland and got a designer dress that was wayyyy over my budget but my family pitched in because apparently it looked perfect on me and it was "the dress" so they had to find a way to get it for me so my dad, aunt, and cousin all paid for it I love my family so much but I don't even know if I'm going to prom so I feel bad that they spent all that money on a dress that I might not wear. The worst part is that it was on sale so I cant take it back so what do I do? Oh and remember Paul well hes not going to ask me to prom that pussy seriously grow a pair! But all my friends have dates so I would totally third wheel it if I went which wouldn't be fun but on the other hand I don't want to disappoint my family and not go when they spent all that money. To tell you the truth I'm sick of prom and hearing about it, its so overrated! Its my senior year and all but still I don't want to go if I'm not going to have fun I'm in a serious FML moment gotta love high school.

Lesson learned

Boys in high school = players. Its taken me this long to figure out but its happened to me a few times. When you hang out with a guy a couple times and they decide to be done with they they just stop talking to you and start to hang out with a new girl and this sucks because you start to like them and just like that they drop you. It's also rude they could at least tell you what the deal is but they like to keep lines blurry. I found out my lucky number is two I will hang out with a guy two times just two and then they are done with me sad huh well Ill get over it I just thinks its disrespectful to girls but they don't care all they care about is how many girls they can get with. Thank god I'm almost done with high school cause I'm sick of guys treating me like this first Stephan and now Carlos this is awesome NOT! Well lets hope Paul Inst like them cause after this I fell like I should give up. All I want is a good guy isn't there any out there any more? Well I know what type of guys I'm not going to get involved with anymore well some day they will see what they missed out on right? I feel like the reason I'm still single is due to the guys I hang out with so if there's any good guys out there and isn't a player hit me up cause I'm looking for you ;) (p.s. if your a player and reading this grow a pair, stop playing girls, and treat them with respect it would be greatly appreciated) 

The plan

So as you know my ultimate goal this year because its my last year in high school is to ruin the bitches life. Already I have asked her to prom for my ex (totally hilarious) and pretty much ruined her relationship with my girls ex (also super funny)  and Carlos and his brother hate her oh and the best of made her cry when she found out that I was dating my ex last year. Now she thinks we are good friends and that just won't do. So I need something else to do to ruin her life before I graduate. Me and a few good friends are plotting some good ways to achieve this Ill keep you posted on when our next attach is but for now all I can tell you is that she wont expect it and when we are done with her she will have no life like they say karma always comes around (especially when your messing with other girls men) ;)

Obsessed

Today I had class with the bitch and I swear she was on crack or something because she was singing with the teacher and came up and gave me a huge hug WTF we are not friends I hate her with a passion! Oh and the best part was her neon  green skirt who the hell wears that? But I found out that she will not be attending prom thank god but here's the funny part her date decided he didn't want to go with her anymore seems like karma's been real good to her. Back to the subject of this post so shes has hit the point of crazy obsession with our ex she was actually checking her compatibility with him hello he doesn't want you (that's why he dated me and broke up with you!) But her crazy obsession doesn't stop there she texts him in the class we have together to ask him stupid things and you can tell he doesn't want to talk to her. Apparently she cant get hint or over him lets see its been a year and we all have moved on except her well if your a guy reading this DON'T date her she will obsess over you and then you have to deal with her for the rest of you life and nobody wants that now do they :)

What a girl really wants

Ok so this isn't one of those sappy all girls want is "love" and a man that "worships" her even though that is true but there is so much more we want. First off they say money cant buy love they LIE all us women want a man that's well off and can buy us sparkly things. Second we all want a man that we can flaunt around and make other girls on the street glare at us cause our mans hotter than theirs. Oh and we want a man that's good in bed ;) always a plus. But one thing that's important to me is that my man can cook cause I LOVE food! I'm not gonna lie I'm lazy and I would really like a guy to make me food while I lay in bed all day. All us girls also want a guy that's tone in all the right places (beer guts=unattractive) we also want a guy to kill the bugs cause I don't know about you but I HATE them. But lastly we want a guy that's nice and sweet to us cause  have been with some real ass holes and that's not a fun relationship at all trust me. Oh and maybe  they could talk a little less and do a little more of what we want ;) don't think that will happen though a girl can only wish oh and if this applies to any men out their I am single and looking ;) 

Paul

So I have a new boy that I feel I need to talk about so lets call him Paul. Before you ask about what happened to Carlos let me tell you that nothing happened to him I'm still attracted to him but hey I'm single cant I play the field a little ;) But back to Paul hes nice and I think he might actually have the balls to ask me to prom (unlike Carlos that pussy) but here's the thing hes good friends with my ex so I hope it doesn't cause any drama cause that's all I need on top of the bitch starting shit. Me and Paul have been texting a lot and I kinda think he likes me and last night I did the typical girl thing and stayed up super late to talk to him smart move I think not cause I'm super tired today but it was worth it :) So I guess we will see what happens with Paul and prom and Carlos too :) (his friends still creep) 

Awkward

You know how in life you come across those extremely awkward moments? Well welcome to my life this happens everyday! Although I blame Carlos because like I said boys cant keep their mouth shut EVER. Lets talk about the awkward encounter I came across today to start off with. So you know the feeling you get when someone looks at you like they know something? Well for me I get that feeling on a daily basis from Carlos's friends. So today when I was leaving school there was two of Carlos's friends and his brother standing in a group and as soon as I walk out the door they all turn to stare at me AWKWARD! I know they all know about me and Carlos so it was super uncomfortable because what we have is kept on the DL (well with me anyways obviously) but I have never said two words to these boys so it makes it even more awkward. Whenever I walk into my one class with Carlos his best friend always stares at me and I feel like hes saying in his head I know about you and he does this during the class a lot too (hate that class). Well one thing I have learned form all this is that boy's love to kiss and tell.

Stupid bitch

So I recently found out that Carlos and his brother think the bitch is stalking them which is super funny because now they hate her and so do all their friends can you say KARMA?! Oh and whenever the bitch talks to me she  always seems to bring up our ex (obsessive much) seriously get over it its been a year! She just has to pretend that shes so much better than me which shes not. Apparently my ex tells the bitch things about me ALL the time and why would he talk about me to her? oh wait he doesn't. She likes to twist stories and be as fake as possible but what she doesn't know is that he life is slowly being ruined. More and more people are starting to hate her possibly due to my help and some of my awesome friends :) ill keep you posted as her life turns into a downward spiral.

Operation cockblock

Prom seasons here YAY! NOT! Why am I not excited well lets just say last year it was far short from perfect but anyway lets talk about Fred. Fred is one of the most awkward guys you could possibly meet and he wants to ask me to prom. So last week he asked me to lunch thinking that it was just a friends thing but oh no he had a hidden plot that my friend informed me of that morning.He was rejected by a girl he asked to prom the day before and was on the prowl for a date. I had no clue what to do but I knew for a fact I didn't want to go with this awkward "boy" (pretty sure hes going to be gay) so when lunch came around I asked my girl who can be a bitch when needed so this was the perfect time for her to let out her inner bitchiness. Fred was not expecting that I would bring her and I'm pretty sure he wasn't to happy about it. On the way to lunch me and my girl decided to talk about "18 year old things" to make him feel awkward (pretty sure it worked). I knew that he wasn't going to ask me now that my girl was with us so I was safe for now. He still hasn't asked me thank god! Hopefully he wont but I know if he tries my girls got my back :)  

Proof

It has been confirmed men are becoming more womenly! Today in my writing class my teacher pulled up a fact stating that men are starting to talk more in question form like women. Finally there is proof! The guys in my class of course dont want to admit to it but us ladys know its true men are becoming more intune with their feelings. Although this could be a bad thing for us women that want a manly man that doesnt cry all the time hint hint me hopefully theres still some out there.

Grow a pair

Is it just me or are men becoming more womanlike everyday? Lets go back to that boy I dated a year ago he cries more than I do like WTF I'm a girl shouldn't I be the one crying? Well on one of our dates he did pick Dear John to go see and he cried in the Notebook so I guess that says a lot but his womeness doesn't stop there. I went away for a week for spring break (4 hours away) and I get a phone call from my best friend telling me that my "boy"friend called her crying that I was gone for the week. RED FLAG! Alcohol may have been a factor but STILL. So my friend told me he cried for a good fifteen minutes and complained that I never told him I was leaving (I did three times) and how much he missed me which I guess was cute but the crying kind of ruined it. Oh and he has PMS like everyday can you say MOOD SWINGS even when I'm PMSING I'm not as bad as him. Ok enough about him but it seems like every guy I seem to hang out with has a girl car (including my ex) I drive a jeep so its kinda manly but still there are way more manly cars out there oh and FYI adding ski racks to a car does not make it manly. I just feel like guys are more moody these days like they just need to grow a pair and get over whatever is making them so moody. So if there is a manly man out there I'm looking for you ;)

Boy's

Ok so I did say I was going to talk about me moving on well I most defiantly have! :) So there was this boy I met this summer and we stared to hang out for awhile which was good but then he thought it would be fun to stop texting me and show up to a school event with another girl which was his date. COOOOOOOL right? well they do say revenge is sweet :) I have known this other boy for three years now and never really thought much of him but he has been after me all this time why I never went for it? don't ask me. So this other boy is friends with the first boy (lets call him Stephan) and well Stephan likes to kiss and tell  EVERYONE! Reputation in that group of people is kind of ruined but whatever back to Stephan well he knew that the other boy (we shall call him Carlos) wanted me and just had to tell Carlos about us can you say AWKWARD! So Carlos and I started to hang out after Stephan stopped talking to me and we have hung out twice now so I would say it's going pretty good. I just hope Carlos can keep his mouth shut unlike Stephan or this situation could get even more awkward. But I really want Carlos to ask me to prom now that the person that was going to take me *cough cough Stephan is out of the picture but I guess we will see where this goes :)

Drama

As you have read in my previous post there is a bitch that likes to start shit. I have a class with her and just because she dated the same boy she thinks she knows every thing when she doesn't know anything at all. To make her feel better about herself she likes to tell me things that our "ex" said about me. Here are just a few things he "said" I never respected you, I was never turned on by you, the only good thing about you is your ass, you look like an Asian, and the bitch is prettier than you. Well if you have ever seen what this bitch looks like you know it's untrue. I'm not trying to be conceded or anything but really shes unattractive and well a raging bitch. But anyway back to my story the bitch has to make her feel better about what went down between all of us so she has to say mean things about me that were apparently said by our ex. But if you really want to know the truth the only reason he dated her is because she was easy and well has big boobs but that's all she has going for her. I know this is true because it came straight from his mouth and even the bitch admitted that he used to talk about me the whole time they were dating and how great I am so he obviously didn't say any of that (and I asked him about it).It's been a year get over it and move on! I have but we will talk about that another time :)

"Relationships"

So last year I dated this boy who i fell in love with seems perfect right? WRONG there's this girl who had to go and ruin everything shes a complete BITCH! So lets start in the beginning sophomore year I met this nice boy and we became good friends a few months later we started to date it was a good relationship but summer broke us up (as most relationships during summer end) we stayed good friends until said "bitch" showed up. See this boy couldn't decide which one of us he wanted so as boys tend to do he picked the easy girl over the sweet, beautiful, caring girl (me). This is when the nice sweet boy started to become less nice and sweet. The two stared dating and yes I was pissed because this boy gave the impression he liked me (which he did) but started to date the bitch because he got in her pants within the first two weeks of their relationship. Well of course this "relationship" only lasted one month and guess who came crawling back to me. So me and this boy started to date again and all was well but I didn't realize this wasn't the same sweet guy from sophomore year. Due to him dating the bitch he became one himself and broke my heart for what reason? to this day I don't know but we lasted longer than him and the bitch but there is still drama one year later seems like the bitch can't accept the fact that he liked me better and always will.